It's The Way You Say It

It's The Way You Say It
 

by Rick Gilbert,

PowerSpeaking, Inc. Founder and Chairman

You meet the CEO in the elevator. What to do?

Your daughter got into Harvard but talks like a valley girl. What to do?

You supervise others but they don’t take you seriously because of your chronic “up talk.” What to do?

According to Carol Fleming, PhD, author of the new book, It’s The Way You Say It: Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken, and Clear, you can do a lot about these communication challenges.

Small Talk
The CEO in the elevator problem can be solved with small talk. Talk about what is known to you both in the moment to create a trusting social relationship, for example: “I thought the all-employee meeting yesterday was very informative about our new product release.”

Valley Girl Talk
“Like, I’m totally grossed out by that.  You want me to like get speech coaching. What - ever (dripping with distain and sarcasm)!” Carol recommends raising the awareness of these speech patterns and then using imitation to learn a new way. With audio playback, clients quickly learn how to modify the way they speak.

Up Talk
“Bob, I’d like you to get that report to me by Friday.” Voice goes up at the end of the sentence. Guess what? That report is not a priority for Bob. People who use “up talk” in business (more often women than men), are unconsciously telling the listener, “Don’t take me seriously,” or “I’m not sure of myself.” Carol uses audio feedback to help people become aware of and change this career-limiting pattern.

Dr. Fleming notes that it is hard for people to change their speech patterns. They often resist saying that to adopt a new way of speaking is “phony.” When the pain of staying the same is worse than the pain of changing, i.e., losing a job or income because of the way we speak, suddenly the resistance goes away.

To see an interview with Carol, visit our web page: www.powerspeaking.com. To buy It’s The Way You Say It, go to: Amazon.com or Alexander Book Company, #50, Second Street, San Francisco, CA 415-495-2992.
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Our Top Three Fears
Our last e-tip addressed the fear of public speaking.  We invited our readers to tell us their top fears. Interestingly, public speaking didn’t show up once. Of course, our e-tips go to graduates of our programs. Guess they’ve mastered it. Spiders and earthquakes showed up twice, and financial issues showed up five times.

First Biggest Fear
- Death
- Being embarrassed (I believe this is every man's #1)
- Rejection
- Spiders
- Earthquakes (BIG ONES)
- Running out of time
- Professional failure
- Losing my job and my money

Second Biggest Fear
- Loss of loved ones
- Credit card isn't accepted at a restaurant; no cash
- Falling from a great height
- Snakes
- Running out of money
- Heights
- Losing my health

Third Biggest Fear
- Earthquake
- When I die, the kids come in and find sex toys under the bed
- Italian bureaucracy
- Drowning
- Spiders (BIG ONES)
- Running into something (losing my eyesight)
- Economic uncertainty
- US financial collapse due to greed